So true....

Another Day in Boerne

We decided to spend yesterday shopping in Boerne and also had a chance to take Makenna to feed the ducks.  She had so much fun and I was able to get a few good pictures.  Next time we will have to bring more than one loaf of bread with us.   I browsed a few shops while I was there and ended up finding a cute purple bag for fall.  I’ve been searching for the perfect purple purse all year and while this isn’t exactly perfect it will work until I find what I’m looking for.  Plus it was on sale for $38 and we all know I’m on a budget so that made it even better.  I don’t remember the last time I bought a purse that cheat.  On the way back from SA we took the scenic route home through Bulverde, Johnson City, Dripping Springs, etc.  So beautiful.  The deer along the way were an added bonus and Makenna loved it almost as much as I did.  Not sure why I’ve been on this nature kick but I have an itch to do some hiking soon.  Going to start researching places in my free time.  Now it’s Monday and I’m back to a view of a yucky monitor and a boring cubicle.  BOO!  Can’t wait for the weekend so I can get back out and explore some more.  Fingers crossed this week goes by fast.

A Price Wedding

My oldest cousin Ken (Scooter) got married today in SA.  It was such a pretty wedding.  They had it outdoors which we all know is never guaranteed to work out with Texas weather however this time everything turned out great.  It was held under a big oak tree in Floresville & the reception followed at Studio C.  I almost didn’t attend since Makenna ended up with an ear infection yesterday.  Luckily she woke up in a great mood today so I made the last minute decision to head south.  I’m so glad I did.  Not only was it such a sweet day but getting to see family is always a plus.  Congrats Mr & Mrs Price!  Here are a few pics from the wedding. 

Leona Lewis - Happy (US Version)

This goes perfectly with my mood right now.

Mr. Big

My version of Mr. Big.  Well the emotionally unattached and unattainable Mr. Big.  Not the later version whom Carrie married.  Lol

I met him when I was 19 and understandably clueless regarding love.  I hesitated at first to give him my number when meeting him downtown but after much persuasion I completely caved and he ended up at my house by the end of the night.  That was probably one of the most intense nights I’ve ever had, sexually speaking.  I lost count over the years but if I had to guess we must have gone at least 7 or 8 rounds throughout the evening.  Ironically he was suppose to be my first one night stand.  10 years later he still seems to hold my heart.  We tried to continue whatever you want to call what we had.  What sometimes felt like more of a relationship should probably be more accurately labeled a fling.  It went on for about a year or two.  Some days were great, others were horrible.  He never wanted to commit yet still wanted to keep me all to himself.  Man, we really did have some crazy fights and in the end I was the one hurt & upset.  I was young, still very immature and had no clue how to handle the feelings I had for him.  After the dust had settled we began hanging out again but never let it get as intense as it had been in the past.  The moment I started acting crazy or jealous he backed off.  And  I soon learned to pull away when I felt that warmness in my heart that took it from friends with benefits to more than friends. 

I can honestly say over the past few years I’ve finally come to handle our complicated situation as maturely as I’m sure he would have liked me to have in the beginning.  See, Mr Big has a very healthy appetite for women. So while he may have me Friday night, he’ll have a few more samplings of other cuisines over the weekend.  This was something I could not swallow when we first started out.  I was still too young and naïve and believed that I was the only one for him. However, I’m at a place in my life now where I’m finally able to play my role.  We have a very strong friendship given what we’ve endured over time and well I’m confident in knowing that when we share intimate moments it is completely unique and special to just us.  The connection he has with me I know he will never have with someone else and vice versa.  Still, since we are both single we are aware that we will both have other encounters while on our quest for love.   Don’t get me wrong though, I still have my girl moments where I feel the jealousy coming on.  Thankfully, he usually can snap me out of it before I let it consume me.  Its hard sometimes to be so emotionally connected to him and then shut off those feelings once I leave his place.  He’s the only man in my life I’ve ever been able to just sit and cry with and his presence alone makes me feel at ease no matter what I’m going through.  I’m sure you’re wondering right now why we haven’t just decided to date each other.  Trust me, my mind has wandered down that road a few times.   

Let me explain Mr Big for a moment.  He’s complicated, moody, cocky, opinionated and can occasionally be a tad arrogant.  However he makes no apologies for it and I find that extremely attractive.  His style is very metro sexual and I’d definitely call him a designer whore.  His lifestyle is very fast paced , he knows EVERYONE, he’s the life of the party and while he can hang with the elite he is still super down to earth.  You know the typical guy with a speedy sports car and a sexy female in the passenger seat.  Shops more than I do and has to have the best of everything.  Excessive is probably the best word to truly describe him.  Now do you see my dilemma?  Lol…our lives are completely different and I definitely wouldn’t say I’m anywhere near his type.  The sexy Brazilian with the huge ass that walks into the club with her tight Bebe dress and Christian Louboutins on definitely will catch his eye before I will.  With that said,  it only makes sense to laugh along with him when we joke about how we can never ever date one another. 

In all honesty when I think about the kind of life I want and the type of husband I want he doesn’t exactly fit the mold either.  While emotionally he’s been there for me through EVERYTHING there are certain qualities I want that he wouldn’t be able to offer. We’re just at two completely different places in our lives.  So its easier to just keep things the way they are.  If I  need to talk after a bad day he’s there to talk to.  When I need some cuddle time he’s there to comfort me and give me that closeness that I desire for the night.  It just works.  However, since my friends constantly remind me that one day they think we will end up together, I still keep a slight ounce of hope that someday, he’ll truly turn into my Mr. Big.  After all… through all the good/bad guys, summer flings, or just “what was I thinking?” nights I still find myself right back at his front door every time.

Carolyn Dawn Johnson - Complicated

Birthday Weekend on Lake Travis

Just got back from spending the weekend on Lake Travis.  Super relaxing.  Wish I could show you all the pictures I took while out there but well, I didn’t really take any.  I got way too tipsy the first day to remember I had my camera.  Then the 2^nd day it rained the whole time so we spent the majority of the weekend in doors drinking and hanging out.  Still, there are a few randoms below.  The bed in my room, jello shots & dominoes, and of course a view of the lake in the middle of the rain.  Lol…don’t let the pics fool you though bc we had a great time.  =)  The room was located on The Island on Lake Travis in Lago Vista.  Absolutely beautiful area and I loved all the deer that came right up to the property.  Dinner on the balcony of the restaurant Brizo (on property) was great and of course we loved the décor of the actual condo.  Overall a nice relaxing weekend spent with a few close friends.  Lots and lots of laughs and a few shockers along the way.  Happy Birthday to me!!!

Bra Issues

As if I didn’t need another reason to stick with this whole fitness kick…see below.

I decided to order two bras online.  One was suppose to be semi sexy and the other was  suppose to be a sports bra with maximum support.  NEITHER turned out as planned.  The first was a purple lace from the Cacique collection at Lane Bryant that apparently still was not big enough.  I ordered a 44G thinking it would be a little snug but not too bad.  Boy was I wrong.  As you’ll notice below my chest was busting out in all areas.  Not sexy at all!!!!  While it felt okay around, I obviously need to go up a cup size.  An H though?  This is just getting ridiculous.  I decided to switch to the sports bra I ordered hoping for better results.  I ordered the largest size they sold (28) from Marika (see below).  I’ve heard wonderful things about this bra so I was really anxious to test it out.  While it definitely smoothed out my back & sides, again I was faced with my boobs popping out the top.  Seriously!  I can’t go any bigger as far as sports bras go.  Rather than continue to get upset I decided this would be even more of an incentive to stick with Sparkpeople and my weight loss goals.  I’m going to keep both bras and the purple one will be my first goal to fit into.  Since I went ahead and decided to post pics I will have a point of reference for my results.  Ironically I’m probably one of the few women I know that is actually looking forward to decreasing her bust.  Here goes nothing….

My Motivational Collage

I need a little help getting motivated again and I thought this would be perfect.  I’m going to have them printed out and post them in a few key places in the house.  I’ve included two ladies who have bodies I think would be realistic for my goal.  After all,  we still want curves right?    =)

New Haircut. Thanks Katya!

Daddy's New Girlfriend

Well, I had to deal with one of the things I’ve been dreading for awhile this weekend.  Having my daughter meet her daddy’s new girlfriend.  Fun times…NOT!  While its hard enough to deal with it in general it didn’t help that I had to find out from Makenna.  She came home from spending the day with him and said, “Mommy I had fun with Daddy and Bridgette today”.  To say I was shocked would be an understatement  I asked him what he was doing with her that day and not once did he ever mention her meeting his new girlfriend.  I immediately questioned him as to what Makenna was talking about and when he confirmed it and brushed it off as nothing, I snapped.  Told him he needed to get the hell out of my house and that any trust he’d earned with me was now gone.  He tried to argue back but eventually followed my wishes and left without starting a fight since we both agreed not to fight in front of our daughter.   He called me later and told me I was too confusing.  That I claim I want him to move on and date and then when he does I get upset.  He missed the entire direction of my anger.  I wasn’t mad he was dating.  This is the girl I’ve been telling him that he should settle down with in the first place.  I was mad that he had Makenna meet her so soon.  He knows how I feel about her meeting any of his girlfriends.   I want him to be in a serious relationship with someone and as far as I knew from what he had told me Bridgette was not serious.  Hell, as far as I knew he was single according to what he told me.  So to find out in one night he wasn’t single and that my daughter met her without me knowing was a huge deal.  He attempted to tell me it was a last minute thing and that she just happened to show up to the mall but I know how Lamonte works so I know that was not true.  He was throwing too much of a fit about how badly he wanted Makenna specifically on that day.  He is never that pushy about having Makenna so I already had a feeling something was up that day.  After a lot of thinking and time I know this is just a situation I will need to get use to.  One thing is for sure, I made it very clear to him that in the future this can no longer happen until he truly is with someone serious.  And at that point he needs to let me know before it happens.  Hopefully what he says now about being serious with this new one is actually true.  I want to see him settle down and be happy and I want him to be more stable.  Makenna needs stability.  While I’ve learned a lot from this experience its hitting me even more how difficult co-parenting can be.  I really just hope it gets on the same page as me as far as honesty goes.  The trust is completely gone with him and I and I’m not sure how long it will be before we get it back.  The only plus side to all of this is that Makenna seemed to really like Bridgette.  She said she was really nice and fun.  As a mother that definitely helps calm the nerves knowing your child was happy with the person they were around.  Maybe he’s finally getting it right and picking a nice woman to be with.  Guess we’ll see how this goes….