Week 2 - Another healthy attempt.

Week 2 of my decision to get back on track with my weight loss journey.  I was tempted not to blog about it since it feels like I almost sabotage myself every single time I announce that I’m working on it.  Still, I can’t help but share my excitement.  So far it has not been too difficult.  I’m not really dieting, just making better decisions.  If I really want something I have it, just in moderation.  I remind myself that since I splurged with that meal my other meals will have to be more restricted.  It’s been working and I’ve been feeling great so I must be doing something right this time.  The key for me will be consistency.  I just need to keep it up.  I’ll say it is really helping me stay focused and it’s keeping my mind off my situation with Kendall.  We have quickly taken a downhill direction and what’s even worse is that I don’t think he’s even realized it.  In his eyes we’re fine.  For me, I’m DONE!  I love him to death but I’m seeing so many patterns that I saw with my other failed attempts at love and I want to end it before I get too caught up to care.  It’s risky because I may be losing out on something great but as women we need to go with our intuition.   There are just too many signs right in front of my face that he is NOT the one.  So…it’s time to listen.  I’m not sure when I will have this conversation with him but it needs to be soon.  I’ve stopped texting, calling, etc so I know he has to see that something is up but he’s either gnoring it or just doesn’t want to deal with it.  Blah!

Other than that  things have been pretty darn good.  I have my final exam coming up for class next week and then I’m done until fall.  Thank goodness.  I want to really focus on other things this summer.  I keep looking at my vision board and there are still so many goals I want to accomplish so it’s time to kick it in gear.  That’s all I have for now.  Enjoy your day every one!

Breakfast from Chef Emily.

Woke up and found Emily cooking in the kitchen.  Apparently she was wired from her work out and decided to stop by and make us breakfast.  Delish!  Wish I could wake up every day to this.

Eggs, prosciutto, asparagus, havarti cheese, a dash of paprika and topped with a super yummy hollandaise sauce.  Man this girl knows how to put a smile on our faces.

Salad Time!!!

I never thought I'd see the day where this would be what I ordered for lunch.  It's super yummy too!

Spinach, beets, carrots, bell peppers, broccoli, peas, cottage cheese, grilled chicken, and couscous.  I didn't even drown it in ranch.  =)  Thank you Jason's Deli.  You Rock!

My Immature Moment

I let her get the best of me last night.    =(

Lately I’ve had major issues with BD’s new girlfriend.  First it started with her sending me a friend request on FB and then when I told him about it she denied it and said I was lying.  Obviously I had proof so it was fine but really…you were going to call me a liar?  It kind of rubbed me the wrong way that she was already trying to start crap.  Then the next thing was him mentioning that she brings me up and talks about how my chest is so much bigger than hers and stuff when they’re having sex.  I’m sure some may say to take that as a form of flattery but really I just wanted to be like, “Bitch keep my name out of your mouth.”  I know…calm down Tiffany!  The latest has been stupid Facebook drama.  I ended up blocking her so she could no longer see my page but then after having multiple people tell me she’s been talking shit about me on her page I decided to unblock her and see for myself.  While she may not be mentioning any names its clear she’s posting stuff with the hopes of me seeing it.  It completely reminds me of Kim and the stuff she would put.  Saying he’s a good role model to her kids and how amazing he his.   Good role model?  A man that has 5 kids and only claims 2 of them?  That’s a good role model?   Now normally I would have laughed it off and felt bad for her because I honestly do if she thinks he’s an amazing man.  I know in time she will see him for who he really is but until then the fact that she thinks he’s so wonderful and that I’m so horrible really bothers me.  She has no idea all the crap he’s put me through and his other children.   She’s a mother herself so you would think she would know better than to judge me off top.  Anyhow…she posted a few other things clearly to upset me and well it worked.  So…last night I made a few bashes via Twitter.  Hello!!!  Could I get any more immature?  I’m doing the exact thing she is pissing me off for doing.  This is not my character and now a day later I’m rather embarrassed by my actions.  I even mentioned that I knew he’d just recently cheated on her.  I mean yeah its true but it’s not by business to put out there.  So I’ve decided to take it all down.  Stooping to her level was completely stupid and I should have never gone there.  I need to just ignore the bullshit and block her again.  At the rate BD is going at seeing Makenna it will be a long time before he’s finished with his supervised visits so she will not be around my child anytime soon.  Which means what she does, thinks or says should not affect me.  Now enough of all that silly stuff.  Time to get back to not following that nonsense.  I’m much better than that and should NEVER have gone there. 

Makenna's Father

I found a box of old pictures that I kept of Lamonte & I for Makenna.  Some might think it's weird but I kept all the old love notes, cards, pics etc from when we were together to give her someday.  I always worry that she will think that since we weren't together when she was born that we didn't love eachother when she was conceived.  I know over the years him and I will go through days/months were we hate eachother, love eachother, etc and I just don't want her to base our relationship in the future on how we felt about eachother when she was created.  Anyhow, I don't think I've ever shared a picture of us on here so see below.  Tell me if you think it's weird that I'm saving these items for her to have someday?  I'm curious as to outsiders opinions.

More than just a friend...

Decided today to say “F*** it!” when it comes to how I feel about a certain individual.  Spent time with him today and he’s been on my mind ever since.  We’ve had this going on for awhile but I’ve been trying to hide it due to the fact that I did not want to hear other people’s opinions.  Some of my friends/family would be happy to see us together but some I know feel as if I could do better.  It hit me today that I just don’t care what anyone thinks.  He loves me and he loves Makenna.  I don’t know where this will go but I’m tired of hiding it.  So yes, for anyone who wasn’t sure about it…Kendall is more than just my friend.  =)